Barney's Blog - 2x08: Barney's Guide to Gambling

It's not gambling when you know you're going to win, and if you play long enough, eventually you will win. That's a fact. Learned it from a friend who OWNS a casino.

Here's my guide to successful gambling. I can't give away all my secrets, but I'll offer you a tip for each of the most popular casino games.

DRINKING 
When the cocktail waitress delivers your drink, quickly order your next one.

POKER
Hold out for the wild card.

BLACKJACK
Always assume the dealer has blackjack, and double-down on everything.

ROULETTE
Find a table that's hit black five times in a row and bet on red. It's like flipping a coin: Heads five times in a row? What are the chances it's heads again on the next flip? Best bet in the casino.

SLOTS
Heh. Slots.

CRAPS
Observe the game for awhile, since it can be confusing. When you're ready, throw some chips around, clap, and shout, "Yo!" Somebody will throw chips right back at you.

XING HAI SHI BU XING
The girl in the red dress has the jelly bean.

DEALERS
Always seek out the hottest dealers. If you play your cards right, it's cheaper than an actual date and--bonus--since they wear nametags, you don't have to remember her name.

CASINO WAR
Always take the high ground, stay out of central Asia, and control the seas.

ATM
Easiest money in the house; that's why there's always a line. Bet on "checking account."

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