Barney's Blog - 2x16: The Barney Stinson Theatre Experience


As many of you know, I'm an art enthusiast, a patron if you will. Personally, I've sponsored many a dancer and it's been so stimulating to watch them achieve such new and flexible heights. 

Recently, I turned my creative energy toward proving that playwriting is a cinch: in fact, with the lights off, anything can be a great performance. So may I humbly present to you excerpted selections from the Barney Stinson Theatre Experience (Copyright, 2007). 

Love always,
The Bardney 

CURTAIN UP:
A handsome gentleman saunters onto the stage. 

ME
Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.

Repeat for forty minutes.

COSTUME CHANGE: ROBOT

ME (CONT'D)
Car factory. Lay off. Lost and alone. Oil change!
WD-40?

Robot walks stage right (or left). In a robot manner, pick up watering can. Pour some water in flower pot.

SPECIAL EFFECTS: Flowers sprout. Robot surprised! Robot smells the flower. More surprise. Improvise dance for 15 to 20 minutes.

ME (CONT'D)
Feelings. Inside. Oh no!

COSTUME CHANGE: NUDE

ME (CONT'D)
Insurance. Anatomy. Pharmaceutical sales.
Sculpture. The locksmith. The David.

Jumping jacks - 10 to 15, depending on the moment.

MUSIC CUE: Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

COSTUME CHANGE: JUDGE'S ROBES

ME (CONT'D)
I object! Sustained. Overruled. Counselor, where are you going with this? I'll allow it. I rule in favor of the plaintiff. You must give the defendant... one hug... of a bear variety!

COSTUME CHANGE: KING OF ENGLAND

ME (CONT'D)
Hear ye, hear ye! From this day forward, I do hereby declare, that the third Monday of every month shall be...

The King drops dead. LIGHT CUE: Shut off. CUE: Applause/adulation.

If you are interested in staging your own production of the BSTE, go ahead. Just send me the link to your video at barneystinson@yahoo.com. Theater is a living being and should be free to all.

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